


It's all greek to me

by oceantears



Series: Five plus one (six for gold) [4]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Bad Puns, Clueless Sherlock, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Greek gods, Humour, M/M, Multiple chapters, Mutual Pining, Pining John, Puns and pick-up lines about greek mythology, Sassy John, add your own, eventually out of character, maybe case solving, puns, references to Greek mythology, teenlock or regular Sherlock Universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 22:45:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13258188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceantears/pseuds/oceantears
Summary: Even someone as brilliant as Sherlock can be incredibly clueless sometimes.Or: The five times John flirted with Sherlock, using bad puns and pick-up lines about greek mythology that Sherlock didn't notice plus the one time he noticed (and flirted back).





	1. Charon

**Author's Note:**

> Written by me.  
> *The title might change later on!*  
> So, as you should know by now, John flirts/jokes with Sherlock using puns and/or pick-up lines about greek mythology. This can either be set in the "normal" Sherlock universe (both are adults, they live in 221B, Sherlock never faked his death, Mary never met John - so basically before the end of Season two) or in a teenlock AU, where both of them are teenagers. I imagined in the regular universe, but I guess you could also view it as teenlock. Next I'd like to say that I would be very, very grateful if you could give me some ideas for (or just straight up) puns or pick-up lines referring to greek myths, and I'll give my best to include them in a chapter. Of course I'll mention/credit the person who sent it in. (I'd just like to warn you that I _won't_ be including any puns/pick-up lines that refer to sex, as it doesn't fit with the story I have in mind.) And I fear that John and Sherlock might be a little out of character, at least in the first few chapters, so please, if that puts you off, don't continue reading.  
>  That being said I would really appreciate ideas from you, comments and kudos, but don't feel pressured to leave them! :)  
> Every chapter will have one pun or pick-up line in it, sometimes more, and I guess that the following chapters will be a bit longer than this one.  
> English still isn't my first language, please feel free to point out any mistakes I made.

Lately, John had taken an interest in greek mythology. He hadn’t really told anyone, seeing as he didn’t know who might share that interest, but he enjoyed reading the myths, as they were versatile, sometimes highly amusing, more often gruesome than not, and generally very interesting. John had started reading about the greek gods, heroes, monsters and nymphs after he had read an article which had repeatedly referenced to the tale of Icarus, and since John had had nothing better to do that day, he had researched a bit and read the myth of Icarus. And after that he well, had gotten a bit hooked, to say the least. So now he often read greek myths, for they were interesting, great reading matter and rather different from what he usually read.

And the fact that his friend, Sherlock, knew – quite surprisingly – next to nothing about greek mythology, had absolutely nothing to do with John’s new interest. Nor did John use that to his advantage and made puns about greek gods the brunette didn’t understand, or used pick-up-lines on him, which referenced to mythology. No, John didn’t do that. Not at all.  
Okay. John _so_ did that.

 

The two friends were in the kitchen, John preparing tea, and Sherlock was busy with whatever experiment he was engrossed in this time (John hadn’t bothered to ask, maybe he would do that another time), when John turned to Sherlock, facing the man who leaned over the kitchen table, looking intently at a piece of a burnt red handkerchief. “Hey, Sherlock?”  
The answer the brunette gave, was a short, distracted “Hm?”, not bothering to look up from his experiment. “Did you know that Charon hates his job? I don’t know why he styx with it.” John smiled expectantly at Sherlock, who looked up, mildly confused. "Who is Charon?” the Consulting Detective asked, looking somewhere between amused and annoyed because John had interrupted his experiment. The blonde just chuckled. “No one important. Charon is just a man I read something about a few days ago.” That made Sherlock look up, his eyes now gleaming a bit. “A new client?” John shook his head. “No, sorry to disappoint. We don’t have any cases currently, as you deemed the last two as not worth your time. Go back to your experiment; I’ll be upstairs, reading a bit.” Sherlock scoffed. “Those cases were hardly even a five, why should I waste my time with them?” With a slight shake of his head Sherlock turned back to his experiment, ignoring the small chuckle John gave at his facial expression.

Slowly, John made his way upstairs, hot tea in his hand and a smile on his face. Even though Sherlock didn’t get his jokes – or maybe especially _because_ he didn’t get them – they were still amusing to tell. And Sherlock’s mildly confused expression was definitely a sight to behold.  
_Yes_ John thought to himself, _I’ll definitely make more puns about mythology._ Smirking slightly, he sat down on his bed and angled for the book of myths on his bedside table.


	2. Pomegranates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is finally there! Thank you all so much for the positive response I got for the first one, keep it up if you want! I'd be happy. :)  
> This chapter is a bit longer than the other one, but I'm really tired at the moment, so if I made mistakes or anything's unclear, I do apologize, and please tell me where I made errors.  
> Also! If some of you don't get the reference in this chap, it's explained in the notes at the end.  
> Other than that, enjoy! :)

John and Sherlock had just come home from a meeting with Lestrade, and John was exhausted. The meeting had gone rather well – Sherlock had insulted the DI and his team only four times – but it had started late and ended at half past twelve, and John felt drained. He hadn’t eaten in more that six hours and since he knew that Sherlock hadn’t eaten for even longer, he had started to cook once they had gotten home.  
While John cooked, Sherlock sat on the couch in the living room, hands underneath his chin, eyes closed, lost in his mind palace. John smiled, casting glances at his friend ever so often.

He had thought about the evening a few days back a lot – the evening when he had first told Sherlock a joke which referred to Greek mythology – and he found himself wanting to do that more often, to make jokes about mythology, jokes his friend didn’t understand, and he wanted to use pickup lines on him. In some way it was amusing and satisfying to be better informed about a subject than the genius, but John also saw a chance of these pick-up lines being a vessel for long kept feelings toward Sherlock. Feelings he wasn’t ready to share yet.

And therefore, the only logical conclusion was to interrupt Sherlock’s thinking process with tea and food, hoping that there would be the perfect opportunity for using a line while they had dinner.  
“You know Sherlock”, the blonde started once they had begun eating, “next time we have a meeting with Lestrade you could try to be a bit less harsh. I’m sure he’d appreciate it.” Sherlock who actually ate the chicken with rice John had made, scoffed. “When he becomes competent enough to actually do his job himself I’ll think about it.”  
John gave a half smile at that, amused at Sherlock’s response. “You know, if Lestrade solved all of the crimes himself, you would pretty much lose your job. “ Sherlock just shot him a half-hearted glare and said nothing. John smiled, as this was an argument they had often. He knew that Sherlock knew that most of they got most of their cases because of Lestrade, and he was sure that his friend was thankful for that. In his own, mad way.

Their dinner continued silently – a rare occurrence – and John couldn’t help to feel a bit nervous. He had thought about this a lot, and he didn’t want to come across like a pining fifteen-year old (even though this would be a precise description of how he felt), and therefore he had chosen a a bit less corny line. John looked at their plates, noticing that Sherlock had nearly finished and seemed ready to retreat back in his mind palace, if his unfocused eyes and slow breathing were any indicators.  
The blonde pushed his plate away from him, making a lot of noise in the process, and woke his friend from his stupor. “Do you want tea?” John asked, smiling a bit, as he carried the plates to the kitchen. Sherlock huffed at John’s back.  
“No. I don’t drink tea after I’ve just had dinner.”  
“Are you sure? We have got pomegranate tea, it’s delicious.” Sherlock frowned at Johns back. He couldn’t remember the man buying pomegranate tea, nor had he known that this was a taste John liked. “No, I strongly dislike the taste of pomegranates. I didn’t know you liked them.” Weirdly enough, this drew a chuckle from Sherlock’s friend. “Oh, I’m just trying out new things. You know”, John added, a smile forming around the corners of his mouth, as he turned around to face Sherlock. “I would willingly eat a whole pomegranate for you. Not just six seeds.”  
With that, John turned around again, took the kettle from the stove and filled his cup with steaming water, totally ignoring Sherlock’s confused expression. “And in what way would I benefit from you eating pomegranates?”, the Consulting Detective asked, brows furrowing. His friend’s words didn’t make sense today. Was it because John was too tired because of the late meeting with Lestrade? But no, Sherlock knew that even when John was exhausted, he was still able to form logical sentences with a decipherable meaning behind them. But what was behind this utter nonsense if not John’s tiredness?

Sherlock pressed his mouth into a thin line, looking out of the window. Maybe it was really just the tiredness that got John to speak nonsense. It wasn’t worth investigating – for now at least. But if his friend would continue to say illogical things, then Sherlock would search for the reason behind this. For now, he had better things to do. The wing about tobacco ash in his Mind Palace needed to be upgraded.

John smiled, seeing his friend’s stare go unfocused once again. Sherlock was adorable when he was confused – even though John would never tell him this, as this would get him kicked out of the flat in a matter of seconds – and John had to resist to not give himself a pat on the back. Even though his friend hadn’t understood it, the line about the pomegranates had in fact brought him, John, a certain amount of satisfaction and joy. And he couldn’t even exactly pinpoint, why.  
He only knew for sure that he’d continue flirting with Sherlock, now that he had taken a liking to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To clear things up: The pick up line was the "I'd eat a whole pomegranate for you, not just six seeds."  
> Persephone had been kidnapped by Hades, and in order for someone to stay in the underworld forever, they had to eat something in the underworld. She ate (/was tricked into eating) six pomegranate seeds  
> (I have read multiple versions of the Persephone and Hades myth, and in some of them she eats six, in others seven pomegrante seeds, I just went with the version I read first, in which she etwas six seeds, sorry if you disagree.)


	3. Patroclus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am really sorry it took me such a long time to upload!  
> But well, here's the next chapter, I really hope you enjoy! It's a Little different from the rest, with kinda insecure!John and Sherlock's touch-averseness is mostly the way I also experience it. It's nothing extreme but I wanted to write Sherlock a bit like the way I experience stuff, with not feeling comfortable with being touched sometimes, and the fact that one person often is my exception, pretty much.
> 
> Also: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SPOILERS! If you haven't seen "Jurassic World - Fallen Kingdom" yet and really wanna do so, please stop reading at the line: "And you’ve got something mixed up, since you can’t be both Achilles and Patroclus at the same time. If anything-“  
> and start again two paragraphs further down at the line: "Sherlock was interrupted the second time this night, this time by a laughing John, and he stopped pacing and stared at his friend incredulously. "
> 
> Enjoy! (And thanks for all the comments, you're the best!)

They were sitting on the couch together, watching TV. Sherlock sat on one end of the couch, his legs tucked in, arms crossed in front of his chest as he watched the film with a disapproving look on his face, doubtlessly criticising it. John on the other hand, had settled comfortably, legs stretched out before him, his head tipping slightly in Sherlock’s direction. 

He was content, happy to be here with his friend, watching _Jurassic world – Fallen Kingdom_ , a movie about dinosaurs that was entertaining enough to distract him at least a little bit from the fact that Sherlock sat frustratingly far away. John knew that the genius didn’t like to be crowded, and he respected that, but he couldn’t help but feel a bit strange when his friend was sitting so far away. After all, it was rather unusual. Normally, when they watched a movie, Sherlock would scoot over to John after a while, either resting his head on John’s shoulder or simply pressing his side to John’s. The blonde didn’t really know what made him different from all the others that Sherlock disliked touching, but he felt honoured. 

Normally Sherlock liked touching John, sometimes, if he was very tired or if they had just come home after an exhausting case, John would go as far as to compare Sherlock to an oversized cat. He usually pushed his head in John’s lap and enjoyed it if John stroked his curls. And because that usual touching _didn’t_ happen today, John couldn’t help but wonder what he might’ve done wrong. 

 

Had it been the inelegant attempts at flirting? Had Sherlock noticed and felt now uncomfortable at the idea of touching John because he feared that it would send the wrong message?  
John felt his heart clench uncomfortably at the thought. But then again, when had Sherlock ever been hesitant to speak his mind? If the whole thing really had made him uncomfortable or was unwanted, he’d already have said something. So what was it then?  
Could it be possible that Sherlock was merely too immersed in his own mind to actually notice how far he and John were sitting apart? Or was today just one of his more touch-averse days? The genius got them sometimes, those days on which he would shy away even from John’s touch and when a simple brush over his arm or just the closeness of them walking together on the street felt uncomfortable or like too much. That was indeed a possibility. Normally Sherlock told John when one of these days came, but maybe he had forgotten today-

Just in that moment Sherlock huffed, interrupting John’s thoughts, stretched and laid down on the couch while simultaneously scooting over to his friend so that he could put his head in the lap of the other man. John raised both eyebrows, surprised and didn’t dare touch Sherlock the way he usually would – stroking his hair or resting his hand on his friend’s arm - even though the man had just initiated touch.

 

A few minutes passed, in which John tried to focus on the process of the movie and Sherlock mumbled softly, complaining about the characters and _Why did they kiss John, that’s absolutely unnecessary, a giant dinosaur is trying to eat them._ John silently agreed with him and chuckled a bit but still, for some reason didn’t dare to stroke his friends hair nor did he put his arms around him. Instead he laid them over the back of the couch in a rather uncomfortable position. And that didn’t go unnoticed by Sherlock. He turned, still lying down, an action that nearly made him fall on the floor. Now able to look at John’s face, he stared at him, a crease between his eyebrows.

“Why are you so careful not to touch me?” It was a normal question, Sherlock’s voice sounded the same as on every day, but John thought that he could hear an underlying tone of hurt. And that was unacceptable. 

“I wasn’t quite sure if you’d be okay with that, seeing how far away you were sitting earlier.” At that Sherlock lifted an eyebrow and John was glad to notice that the underlying hurt had disappeared in the brunette’s next sentences. “John, you know that I’ll always tell you when I don’t want to be touched. You’re the only exception, the only person I like touching and I’ll always tell you if that changes. Also, I like being close to you.” With that, the detective shifted to lie in John’s lap again, and John finally put his hand softly on his friend’s arm. He smiled a little, leaning back, content with just touching Sherlock, his thumb absentmindedly stroking over his arm as they watched the movie.

After a few more minutes, in which they both watched the admittedly, bizarre story unfold on the TV- screen, John smiled softly.  
“You know, Sherlock, I also like being close to you.”  
And then, because John had just read the _Iliad_ the night before or maybe because he liked gently teasing Sherlock as much as he liked flirting with him, he added: “I guess you could say I like being patro-close to you. You’re my Achilles heel.”

This earned him an irritated huff at which he laughed at, as well as an elbow in his upper leg as Sherlock turned to face John.  
“That was terrible. And you’ve got something mixed up, since you can’t be both Achilles and Patroclus at the same time. If anything-“

 

A screech from the TV interrupted Sherlock, who whipped his head around just in time to see a giant dinosaur fall onto the skull of a triceratops. The dinosaur got impaled by the horns of the skull, the other one that had been on top of him jumping of his corpse and Sherlock turned back to John with a tortured expression on his face.

“No.”, he said, stood up and switched the TV off, pacing a bit. “No, this is absolutely impossible, there’s _no way_ this skull didn’t break, this is inacceptable. The dinosaur wouldn’t have died, he has scales! Scales, John! He wouldn’t have been impaled on the triceratops’s horns because it is a _skull_ and he is mutant-dinosaur, designed to be resistant and there’s _no way_ -“

 

Sherlock was interrupted the second time this night, this time by a laughing John, and he stopped pacing and stared at his friend incredulously. “Can’t you see it John?” The blonde only nodded, grinning broadly and gestured for Sherlock to come back on the couch. “Yes I can see it, the movie about _dinosaurs_ isn’t as logical as you wanted it to be-“ Sherlock huffed, “and we’ll watch something more logical next time.” 

The detective gave a short nod but an amused smile played around his lips as he leaned back on John, his hands in his friend’s. John let out a content sigh, enjoying the closeness and turned on the TV once more.

“Let’s see if we see something more adequate for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there again! I just quickly wanna ramble about Jurassic world, so if you still want to watch that movie, please don't read this note. <3
> 
>  
> 
> I recently saw the movie and it was nice and action-packed and fun. I liked the movie but the one thing that really bothers me is that the damn indoraptor died because there's no way this skull wouldve killed him when he fell on it, as he has scales and _dinosaur skin_. I know I shouldn't go looking for logic in a movie about dinosaurs but that's a thing that bothered me (and still does, sorry). Uff.  
>  Also, can someome tell me what happened to the governess-lady of the girl?
> 
> Sorry for rambling, John's right - you really shouldn't look for logic in a film about raptrors. :)


	4. Centaur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long! This is for Lionnamerlend who left a lovely comment on the last chapter. This chapter is kinda crappy but I finally feel I can start writing more regularly now, after a long writers block! Lionnamerlend and all you other amazing People, I hope you like it!

John had found Sherlock asleep on the couch again.

For all the man claimed to sleep as little as possible, John found him like this quite often. He didn’t mind it, though; finding his friend asleep on the couch was vastly preferable to finding him engrossed in his experiments at half past two in the night. It was always damn near impossible to get Sherlock away from them, or convince him that even a genius needed sleep.

Tonight, Sherlock lay softly snoring on their old couch. John had woken up in the middle of the night, feeling thirsty and when he had went to drink some water, he had found his friend asleep, curled up in a blanket, his mouth hanging slightly open.

Quite frankly, it was adorable.

John shook his head and smiled softly to himself at the thought of describing his friend, who was as much an adult as he himself was, as _adorable._ Had Sherlock been able to hear his thoughts, it surely would’ve lead to an exasperated sigh, furrowed brows and a long discussion about the proper adjective to describe-

John’s train of thought was interrupted by Sherlock turning on the couch, so that he now faced the blonde. Slowly, Sherlock opened one eye, blinking twice and then he opened the other one and shot up into a sitting position.   
“What are you doing here, John? He asked. “What time is it?”

 

Sherlock’s voice was slightly rough from sleeping and his words came out a little slurred. John smiled softly. “It’s half past one, Sherlock. And I’m here because I woke up and needed to drink something. You should go to bed, the couch isn’t exactly the most comfortable to sleep on and you look dead on your feet.”  
Sherlock stretched and huffed. “I am fine, John, thank you. I slept long enough to-“  
A yawn escaped Sherlock’s mouth, interrupting him. The brunette frowned.

“What did you want to say?” asked John, a little amused. “I was saying that I`m fine and really don’t need to sleep anymore.” Sherlock replied flatly, looking up at John in an almost defiant matter. 

“Of course, theoretically speaking, your body is fit and awake enough for you to carry on with whatever experiment you were previously engrossed in, but it would still be healthier if you went back to sleep again.”   
Sherlock rolled his eyes but apparently the Fates were watching over John for once in his life, because the Consulting Detective let out a long, suffering sigh but surrendered with a grumbled “Alright, John”. Then he stood up and started walking in the direction of his bedroom, John following suit. 

 

John smiled at his friend and gently placed a hand on his arm when the other man, who must`ve been more tired than he admitted, stumbled on his way to his bedroom.

“You should really take better care of yourself”, John mumbled quietly, mostly to himself, when they reached Sherlock`s bedroom door. “I couldn’t stand seeing you get hurt. After all, you’re the centaur of my universe.”   
At those words, Sherlock looked up rapidly and John was immensely glad that his friend was already leaning against the door or else he surely would have fallen over at the fast movement. 

Sherlock opened his mouth, looking confused and what, hopeful?, but didn’t say anything. He just stood there for a few seconds, mouth still slightly open, much like when John had found him on the couch. Then he seemed to shake off whatever stupor had come over him and he closed his mouth, lips forming a slight smile.

“Goodnight, John”, he said, turning around, opening his door.

The door closed behind him, softer than it usually did and John was left standing in front of Sherlock’s bedroom, feeling much like Sherlock`s face had looked just seconds ago – confused.

And hopeful.


End file.
